I just learned from twitter from author, radio host and columnist Michelangelo Signorile's posting that amazon.com has dropped rankings for many LGBT books considering them "adult" and "erotica".
There is an article in the LA Times
This is an outrage! My books are all professional and written to educate people on gay issues much of which is NOT sexual.
I am noticing that books for heterosexuals are still being ranked which include sexuality such as:
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel is still ranked by amazon.com. Is this targeting LGBT books primarily?
Even if it isn't, this isn't right. All professionally written books deserve rankings to show how well a book is doing.
It is homophobic for amazon.com to decide that a book on gay issues is sexual simply for being written by and for LGBT audiences.
What do people think????
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Do You Know Your Hospital’s Hospitality?
At 5:00 AM, I woke to find that Mike, my partner of 16 years, was not in bed. I heard a hard thump from upstairs, then another thump. Running to our kitchen, I found Mike on the floor, bleeding from several gashes in his head. Our kitchen drawer was open, its corner streaked with blood.
Mike—semi-conscious, mumbling—was in pain. I was in shock, scared that my partner—no, my husband!— might be seriously injured. I called 911. Everything became a blur until the EMT and police officers arrived. “Did you move him?” one officer asked sternly.
“Yes. I tried to get him onto a chair, or—”
“Never move people after they fall!” His voice rose angrily. “You could have paralyzed him!”
Now wide awake, I heard an EMT worker on his phone, saying they had “ruled out foul play.” Had they suspected Mike and I had fought and I struck him? The EMT man in charge glared at me. “We need to take him to the hospital.”
Mike, more coherent now, asked me to come in the ambulance. “Is that okay?” I asked. “Whatever! But you’re riding in the cab, not in back with him.”
Normally, if any jerk—especially a homophobe—treats me this way, I give him a piece of my mind. But Mike was now my main concern. I had to be cool. “I’ll follow behind in my car,” I told him. He nodded.
Following the ambulance, I wondered: Did Mike slip and fall? Had he suffered a stroke, a seizure, a heart attack? How would the hospital people treat me? Mike and I are not legally married in the state of Michigan.
I know friends of ours, also partners, one of whom was in a serious car accident. Worried that the hospital might deny him access to his partner, he told the staff that his partner was actually his brother! As long as the hospital believed his partner was “family,” they allowed him to be by his bedside, 24/7.
But the medics would probably tell the hospital that Mike and I weren’t brothers. That was obvious, from how I hovered over him while he lay on the kitchen floor. Too concerned to muster the energy to lie, I decided to tell the truth but play it cool.
They took Mike into Emergency. “I’m his partner,” I told the intake workers. They politely said I’d have to stay in the waiting room. Would they tell that to a spouse?
“Can’t I just be there while they admit him?”
“Standard procedure. We’ll let you know when you can see him. You can sit over there.”
Was this standard policy? Either way, I decided to stand near their desk, not letting them forget I was there.
I recalled the HBO movie If These Walls Could Talk 2. In one scene, an older lesbian is in the hospital, but her partner is not allowed to be at her side—or even told when she dies—because she is not “a relative.”
Ultimately, they let me in. Now, what about the tech staff, nurses, and doctors? Should I hold Mike’s hand, kiss his head affectionately as I would do naturally? No, I’m ashamed to admit I acted like a straight man, afraid they would kick me out. But that went against every bone in my body.
I advise my clients, therapists in training, and readers of my books not to feel pressured to deny being gay. So how could I start denying being gay now? This was different: With Mike faced with real danger, I wanted to anticipate any problems and be at his side the entire time.
Given that the staff could make me wait in the lobby, you might think I did the right thing. Yes, Mike and I each carry a card, Notice to Emergency Medical Personnel, giving each other Durable Power of Attorney. Any hospital still could deny my rights. Sure, I could sue—later. But my concern was now.
The doctors and nurses were fine with my being there, asking the right professional questions: What medications was Mike taking? Who were his doctors? I was there to tell them.
At one point, a nurse handed me a Kleenex. I was too anxious to realize I was crying. After this, I let my guard down and held Mike’s hand, telling him everything would be all right. He squeezed mine back. People watched me wiping blood off his forehead and even kiss his face to reassure him.
As it turned out, Mike’s new blood-pressure medication had been too strong. When he stood up to go to the kitchen, his blood pressure dropped so much that he passed out! And that would be the story’s main lesson if gay couples, not legally married, were sure of their rights in the hospital.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
"Dude I'm Not Jewish"
With all this marriage nightmare going on with Prop 8 I thought I would share with you a stand-up routine I did in June, 2008 after an 8 week class on doing comedy. Adding a bit of comedy into this dark part of the world helps me!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Keith Olbermann Special Comment: Proposition 8
Many of you are aware by now about the passing of Proposition 8 in California on November 4, 2009.
According to Wikipedia:
Proposition 8 was a California State ballot proposition that amended the state Constitution to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman. It overrode a recent California Supreme Court decision that had recognized same-sex marriage in California as a fundamental right. The official ballot title language for Proposition 8 is "Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry." The entirety of the text to be added to the constitution was: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."I found the best response to the passing of Propostion 8 to be by Keith Olbermann who did a special comment about it on his MSNBC show Countdown with Keith Olbermann.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Imago Relationship Therapy Keeping the Love You Find FREE Intro Teleclass
EVENT: KTLYF Relationship Class IntroDATE & TIME: Tuesday, September 30th at 8:00pm Eastern
FORMAT: Simulcast! (Attend via Phone or Webcast -- it's your choice)
TO ATTEND THIS EVENT, CLICK THIS LINK NOW
or go to Facebook.com
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Now on the Hallmark aisle: Gay marriage cards
I have been waiting what seems like my whole life for this! Hallmark if finally offering cards for lesbians and gays. Read this:
Hallmark, seeing a new market after California ruling, rolls out gay marriage greeting cards
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Most states don't recognize gay marriage -- but now Hallmark does.
The nation's largest greeting card company is rolling out same-sex wedding cards -- featuring two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with best wishes inside. "Two hearts. One promise," one says.
Hallmark added the cards after California joined Massachusetts as the only U.S. states with legal gay marriage. A handful of other states have recognized same-sex civil unions.
The language inside the cards is neutral, with no mention of wedding or marriage, making them also suitable for a commitment ceremony. Hallmark says the move is a response to consumer demand, not any political pressure.
"It's our goal to be as relevant as possible to as many people as we can," Hallmark spokeswoman Sarah Gronberg Kolell said.
Hallmark's largest competitor, American Greetings Corp., has no plans to enter the market, saying its current offerings are general enough to speak to a lot of different relationships.
Hallmark started offering "coming out" cards last year, and the four designs of same-sex marriage cards are being gradually released this summer and will be widely available by next year. No sales figures were available yet.
"When I have shopped for situations like babies or weddings for gay friends I have good luck in quirky stores," said Kathryn Hamm, president of the Web site gayweddings.com.
"But if you are just in a generic store ... the bride and groom symbol or words are in most cards," she said. "It becomes difficult to find some that are neutral but have some style."
The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law estimates that more than 85,000 same-sex couples in the United States have entered into a legal relationship since 1997, when Hawaii started offering some legal benefits to same-sex partners.
It estimates nearly 120,000 more couples will marry in California during the next three years -- and that means millions of potential dollars for all sorts of wedding-industry businesses.
Hallmark, known more for its Midwest mores than progressive greetings, has added a wider variety lately. It now offers cards for difficulty getting pregnant or going through rehab.
It pulled a controversial card that featured the word "queer" in the punch line after it was criticized by some customers and gay magazine The Advocate last year. At any given time, Hallmark has 200 different wedding cards on the market, including some catering to interracial or inter-religious marriages and blended families.
The Greeting Card Association, a trade group, says it does not track how many companies provide same-sex cards but believes the number is expanding.
"The fact that you have someone like Hallmark going into that niche shows it's growing and signals a trend," said Barbara Miller, a spokeswoman for the association.
Rob Fortier, an independent card maker who runs his company, Paper Words, out of New York, added same-sex wedding cards to his mix after thinking about what he would want to receive.
"A lot of people think a gay greeting card needs a rainbow on it," Fortier said. "I don't want that."
But for some time, it was difficult to even find the words for what anyone wanted to say, he said.
His first card poked fun at the challenge.
On the outside it featured lines that had been scratched out: "Congratulations on being committed!", "Congratulations on being unionized!" and, finally, "Congratulations on being domestically partnered!" The inside wished the couple congratulations on choosing to be together forever.
"It really comes down to language," he said.
John Stark, one of the three founders of Three Way Design in Boston, which makes gay-themed cards for occasions from adoption to weddings, has several new designs sketched out and ready.
But he has hesitated adding more wedding cards to his mix until after the November election, when California voters will decide a constitutional amendment that would again limit marriage to a man and a woman in the state.
"What is scary is to produce a marriage line and then November comes and it's recalled, then we have thousands of dollars of inventory waiting," he said.
The gay-friendly business can be challenging, companies said.
Hamm said although she has found many vendors willing to work with her company, some have asked to be removed from the Web site because of hate mail or some other backlash.
Hallmark says all of its stores can choose whether they want to add the latest offerings.
Hallmark, seeing a new market after California ruling, rolls out gay marriage greeting cards
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Most states don't recognize gay marriage -- but now Hallmark does.
The nation's largest greeting card company is rolling out same-sex wedding cards -- featuring two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with best wishes inside. "Two hearts. One promise," one says.
Hallmark added the cards after California joined Massachusetts as the only U.S. states with legal gay marriage. A handful of other states have recognized same-sex civil unions.
The language inside the cards is neutral, with no mention of wedding or marriage, making them also suitable for a commitment ceremony. Hallmark says the move is a response to consumer demand, not any political pressure.
"It's our goal to be as relevant as possible to as many people as we can," Hallmark spokeswoman Sarah Gronberg Kolell said.
Hallmark's largest competitor, American Greetings Corp., has no plans to enter the market, saying its current offerings are general enough to speak to a lot of different relationships.
Hallmark started offering "coming out" cards last year, and the four designs of same-sex marriage cards are being gradually released this summer and will be widely available by next year. No sales figures were available yet.
"When I have shopped for situations like babies or weddings for gay friends I have good luck in quirky stores," said Kathryn Hamm, president of the Web site gayweddings.com.
"But if you are just in a generic store ... the bride and groom symbol or words are in most cards," she said. "It becomes difficult to find some that are neutral but have some style."
The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law estimates that more than 85,000 same-sex couples in the United States have entered into a legal relationship since 1997, when Hawaii started offering some legal benefits to same-sex partners.
It estimates nearly 120,000 more couples will marry in California during the next three years -- and that means millions of potential dollars for all sorts of wedding-industry businesses.
Hallmark, known more for its Midwest mores than progressive greetings, has added a wider variety lately. It now offers cards for difficulty getting pregnant or going through rehab.
It pulled a controversial card that featured the word "queer" in the punch line after it was criticized by some customers and gay magazine The Advocate last year. At any given time, Hallmark has 200 different wedding cards on the market, including some catering to interracial or inter-religious marriages and blended families.
The Greeting Card Association, a trade group, says it does not track how many companies provide same-sex cards but believes the number is expanding.
"The fact that you have someone like Hallmark going into that niche shows it's growing and signals a trend," said Barbara Miller, a spokeswoman for the association.
Rob Fortier, an independent card maker who runs his company, Paper Words, out of New York, added same-sex wedding cards to his mix after thinking about what he would want to receive.
"A lot of people think a gay greeting card needs a rainbow on it," Fortier said. "I don't want that."
But for some time, it was difficult to even find the words for what anyone wanted to say, he said.
His first card poked fun at the challenge.
On the outside it featured lines that had been scratched out: "Congratulations on being committed!", "Congratulations on being unionized!" and, finally, "Congratulations on being domestically partnered!" The inside wished the couple congratulations on choosing to be together forever.
"It really comes down to language," he said.
John Stark, one of the three founders of Three Way Design in Boston, which makes gay-themed cards for occasions from adoption to weddings, has several new designs sketched out and ready.
But he has hesitated adding more wedding cards to his mix until after the November election, when California voters will decide a constitutional amendment that would again limit marriage to a man and a woman in the state.
"What is scary is to produce a marriage line and then November comes and it's recalled, then we have thousands of dollars of inventory waiting," he said.
The gay-friendly business can be challenging, companies said.
Hamm said although she has found many vendors willing to work with her company, some have asked to be removed from the Web site because of hate mail or some other backlash.
Hallmark says all of its stores can choose whether they want to add the latest offerings.
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