Ground Zero mosque imam Abdallah Adhami says homosexuality the result of 'violent emotional abuse' - Telegraph
SEX ON THE DOWNLOAD:
A four part teleclass with Joe Kort and Tammy Nelson
"Sex on the Download" is a reflection of our current culture of internet relationships where the growing societal influence of connecting in cyber relationships can create real time intimacy, but may also lead to compulsive sexual behaviors, porn addiction and compulsive infidelity.
Is it inevitable that in the not too distant future we will ultimately download all of our intimate and sexual connections?
For some users, this time may already be here. And it may be effecting real life partnerships, jobs, and the ability to create healthy sexual connections.
Therapists, educators, sexuality counselors and medical practitioners will benefit from this training to assist anyone who uses the internet as a pathway to relationship, connection, sexuality or pleasure and who finds themselves caught in a web of cyber chaos, pain, addiction or crisis.
Learn direct interventions, insight oriented and nonpathologizing behavioral changes, and directed attempts to connect for couples and individuals. We will use lecture, case example and worksheets and handouts. Supervision, group discussion and ongoing support is included in this LIVE teleclass.
Four Tuesdays: Jan 25, Feb 1, 8, 15, 2011
12pm – 1pm EST
COST: $200 (student discount may be available)
Week 1 - Participants will learn to provide appropriate diagnosis of sexual disorders such as sexual compulsivity, sexual addiction, porn addiction, compulsive infidelity and other sexual behavioral disorders that manifest as internet disorders. Is there such a thing as sex addiction? Is porn addiction real? Can it be something else? What is healthy use of the internet? Can pornography use ever be healthy?
Week 2 - Participants will learn ways to work with partners to accept responsibility for the repair of sexual dysfunction as it relates to object relations and personal sexual history. Work with couples to repair relationships after infidelity, after porn addiction, after betrayal or trauma. Move partnerships through specific stages of erotic recovery necessary for healing.
Week 3 - Participants will learn ways to address the nonsexual meanings of sexual behaviors or lack thereof including cracking the code of fantasy and desire as it relates to internet behavior. Learn ways to share fantasy with partners to decrease anxiety and bring erotic energy back in to the relationship instead of splitting it off to outside exits.
Week 4 - Participants will learn ways to explore their own countertransference, assumptions and assertions and the difficulties this presents in the treatment of internet relationships. The non-pathological use of the internet is reflected in positively framed couples work using fluidity, intuition and sexual empathy.
Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC, is a Certified Sexologist, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Imago Therapist and the author ofGetting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together, and lectures and trains internationally on sex and relationships. www.DrTammyNelson.com
Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW, is a psychotherapist and Board Certified Sexologist who specializes in sexual identity issues, IMAGO relationship therapy, sex therapy and sexual addiction. He is the author of two books on gay male identity and relationships, Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician and has a chapter for female partners who are involved with men who have sex with men in Mending a
Shattered Heart. www.joekort.com
This is about patriarchy where straight men feel their sexual erotocism is central and dominant and G-d forbid women and gay men share sexual power. Straighten are frightened of losing their power.
All joking and intolerance of heterosexuals aside, what DO we do about people who genuinely feel uncomfortable about showering with overtly gay people who might be titilated by seeing them naked? You're attitude can't seriously be, as that article suggests, "oh, those backwards bigots! Get over it!"---can it? Just because someone is uncomfortable being naked around strangers of the opposite sex (whether literally the opposite sex, or just constructively---i.e., gays) doesn't make them bigots. Are women bigots who don't want to change in front of strange men? Seriously, we should be adults and be responsive to people's sensitivities and vulnerabilities. It's not unreasonable to be uncomfortable at the possibility, let alone likelihood, of people leering lasciviously while one showers or undresses in a communal setting. And you must admit, in the general population, there WILL be people who gawk or leer. C'mon---we're men---it's what we do, a thousand times a day. If it walks, wriggles or crawls, we're looking at it coming or going, sizing it up, giving it a score, storing it in our camel-hump memory for emergency use later if necessary. Sure, changing the DADT policy won't change the ratio of hetero to homo, but the key consideration is that DADT affords an "ignorance is bliss" benefit. I can understand why, for some people, it's uncomfortable to shower in front of people who are covertly gay and, by definition, turned-on by members of your "sexual category."
Either it's "Don't Ask Don't Tell", and "ignorance is bliss," and people just go on not knowing who might be susceptible to titilation, and keep showering together, and no one is the wiser but the gays get their red meat and the "homo-phobes" (i.e., those who are uncomfortable showering with gays), get their state of denial. Or else we have "Nobody Asked But Look At Me, I'm Telling Anyway", and gays don't get court-martialed out of the service, and get to live freely, but we have separate showers because we're sensitive about people's sexual issues and vulnerabilities. But you can't have both!---can't have your cake and eat it too. i.e., you don't get the communal showers as if no one knows and its no big deal, at the same time you get to trumpet that you're gay and harbor a sexual preference for the group you're showering with!
It just doesn't seem bigoted, prejudiced, unreasonable, or backwards to me. It's just considerate, to have separate showers in such situations. I would LOVE being able to shower with the women at the gym, and pretend like it's no big deal, I'm just there to work-out, and how dare women PRESUME I'm automatically turned-on by them just because I'm heterosexual and turned-on by women as a group. But seriously---there would, in any general population of women, be some I'm leering and gawking at! And they would be completely reasonable and within their rights to require separate showering facilities, just SUSPECTING that, given the law of averages, there would be men like me out there!
I can hear the howls of protest already, at my impudence in contesting this position, or in unknowingly using some politically-incorrect words or phrases; some of your fans, I've noticed, simply have no tolerance for disparate opinions and principles, and assume those who disagree are bigoted louts. Still, I welcome all of you "educating" me, if I'm wrong on some premise or conclusion. But I do wonder---is the "gay agenda" about being treated equally, under a fair application of The Rule of Law, and about the freedom to be yourself without repercussion and blow-back (no pun intended!)? Or is it about dispensing with the cumbersome art of persuasion, and instead FORCING an expedient change in attitudes?